From 1971 until 1981 I portrayed Erin on The Waltons. It was a wonderful experience, and when it was over I was 20and wanted to continue to work as an actress. I studied, took classes, and worked in theater, but it didn't take long to realize that it wasn't enough to be the "All American Girl" anymore. I was told that I would have more opportunities as an actress if I was sexier, and it was suggested that I should consider bigger breasts. I was reluctant to get breast implants but a lot of my actress friends were having augmentation at the time, and they were getting work. It was not a decision that came easily. I carefully weighed out everything - asked doctors all the usual questions about risks and researched what little information was available at the time. The plastic surgeon told me that they were safe and would last a lifetime. And so, at age 24, I listened to the doctor's assurances and quietly went through with the surgery. I was so embarrassed to have the procedure that I couldn't even tell my mother.

 I later found out that it was impossible for me to make an informed choice, because the information was not available to me, or any woman, in 1984. Not a single study had ever been conducted on any woman to answer the simplest question of all - were implants safe?

     If I had been told by my doctor that after having implants I might have muscle pain, break out in rashes, run fevers, become sensitive to light or have Chronic fatigue, I never would have made that decision.

     Within the first 24 hours of surgery my chest and back had a terrible rash. I would wake up every morning feeling like I had been hit in the head with a frying pan. I would have dry eyes, shooting pain in my ribs and chest, and my breasts would ache. If the doctor had told me there was even the slightest chance that I might develop connective tissue disease or would not be able to lift my daughter and hold her close, believe me, I would never have decided against implants. ants.

     Over the years, other symptoms developed. I never imagined that my implants were the cause. As I got sicker and sicker, my career went downhill. My doctors kept reassuring me that it was nothing to worry about - after all, aches and pains were a natural part of growing older. But I was now in my early 30's, and I felt like an old woman. When I asked whether I should get my implants removed, my doctors advised against it, saying it would not improve my health, and would probably make me severely depressed. They didn't understand how terribly ill I felt, and how little I now cared about looking sexy.

Finally, I became so sick that I decided I wanted to get rid of any chemical exposure that might be harming me - including my implants. My rheumatologist was still insisting that my implants were unrelated to my illnesses, but later, after I had my implants removed, she diagnosed me as having lupus. Additionally, my illness was putting a terrible strain on my marriage.

     Finally, in 1993, I received a phone call from a friend who also had implants. She told me that when her implants were removed, they found a cyst the size of a golf ball lodged behind the implant. I began to wonder whether my implants might be causing problems for me too. But I wanted to believe that my implants were safe as was reported by the media. I couldn't face another surgery, so I didn't rush to judgment.

     One year later I finally made a decision. It is difficult and time-consuming to have broken implants removed, and the surgery took hours longer than expected. When my implants were removed, the surgeon found that the silicone envelopes and polyurethane foam that had covered the implants had disintegrated inside my body. All that was left was the silicone gel, remnants of the shell, surrounded by my body's own scar tissue.

     Like most 'explanted' women, I was left with breasts that were smaller than they were before the implants. So, even though the health risks of implants are a controversial issue, many of the health problems I developed were obviously related to the implants: the rupture, the disintegration of the foam and silicone envelope, the loss of breast tissue, the chest pain, and the rashes. These are what are often called "local complications" - a term that sounds much less serious than reality.

     I am well aware that some scientists believe that implants do not cause lupus, chronic fatigue, flu-like symptoms, or the aches and pains that I suffered. I'm not a scientist, but I am an expert on me, so let me say it simply: I was healthy, I got implants. I got sick, I had them removed, and I got better. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but since my implants have been removed, I have become healthier every year, and now I can work as an actress again. And I know many women with implants who have had similar experiences. And when I look at the studies, I see that most of the studies include very few women who had implants as long as I did. Remember, my lupus was diagnosed more than 10 years after I got implants. If I had been studied 9 years after getting my implants, I would not have been considered sick with lupus, even though I was diagnosed with lupus years later. We obviously need better research and studies that involve large numbers of women who have had implants for long periods of time. And their health should be evaluated by objective, open-minded doctors, before and after implant procedure.

     Even more upsetting for me than my own illness is that my infant daughter became sick, with symptoms that were similar to mine. Is it just coincidence that she became ill after being nursed by a mother with broken silicone implants? There aren't enough good studies to be able to answer that question either, but I can't help feeling guilty about it.

     Looking back of course I wish I had never gotten breast implants. Maybe it was a vain choice. Maybe it was a stupid choice. But, because of the lack of information, I wasn't able to make an informed decision. And I am so sorry that young women today are in the same situation - being told that implants are perfectly safe, when the truth is that they cause many serious problems. No one truly knows the long-term risks.

This is why IN THE KNOW is so important to me.  Just possibly we can help someone else who has succumbed to the pressures I once faced. Actresses and singing artists today feel they must strive to maintain their looks and age, or enhance them. Body image issues have not only prompted numerous enhancement procedures, but also driven many women to eating disorders. Though there is more information available today, there are also greater pressures. If our support group can help only one woman, and save her from what the rest of us have endured, we will feel a sense of accomplishment.

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